YUKS

   Our old website on Geocities (R.I.P.) had a nice collection of funny stuff.

I'll give it that old college try to put up some (mostly) visual things here (hopefully most need no captions or explanations):

   

Like this semi-honest bottle of Fanta.


 

Or this cutely suggestive travel ad from an airport lounge.


 

This is one I posted to Facebook a while back- I think it's great captionless, but I received at least one feedback comment wondering what the point was. Dunkin Donuts is clearly convinced that their public is lacking somewhat in IQ, or at least has no idea how to multiply by 6.

Follow-up November 2011

I'm not nutsy enough to think my facebook post reached the muckety-mucks of Dunkin' Donuts, but someone realized they were overcharging for a half dozen donuts.

Their capitalist response was obviously to raise the price of a single donut. No donut holes, they.


 

Here's an ad for a local computer outfit- note the only English in the ad for a Flash Drive, known here as a disk-on-key, but written in the ad as a DICK-ON-KEY. Computer erotica? Hardly. Typo? Not necessarily. How about this theory: "s" in English is written "c" in Russian. I remember my parents writing to our family in Russia, writing CCCP for USSR. So "disk" is easily transformed into "dick" and represents a language challenge, and not an amazing technosexual accomplishment.


 

And here's my absolute favorite television announcement, sitting on the printer in my office for years! and always bringing a smile. Keywords: Family Channel, of course.

 


Unaccountably, as Marty got older he found himself speaking Arabic


 We're back from vienna, had a great time, but that's not for this section. there are lots of throwaway free newspapers, and the ad in this one reassures me that tradition is tradition, and that it will passed on from generation to austrian generation. note the lovely lederhosen pocket for your knife

 


Next:

How about this item from the Sky Mall catalog- at first glance...how brilliant, a car office.

Now where, exactly, do you use the damn thing? While you're traveling on the highway? No. When you're parked outside your home? No, you should be inside. When you're parked outside your office? Huh? When you get a call en route and you have to pull off the highway and start reading and faxing and e-mailing? What exactly is the purpose of this complex item? I can only think of one thing: if you actually don't have an office in the first place! It's one short step from sleeping in your car.


I am sure that Dr Bernstein is the absolute best in his field.

And an excellent advertisement of the value he places on a lush head of hair.


OK, I thought that Sky Mall reached a nadir with the stupid car office above, but here's a new one gathered from Delta in July 2011. Voila, the Tie Pillow, otherwise known as the Pillow Tie.

Yes, you're in a boring meeting, we all suffer through them, your mind wanders, maybe you're daydreaming about inappropriate stuff, you're a little worried that someone will catch you in your mindless state......and then you remember: you have your Tie Pillow (or Pillow Tie), you pull up the nozzle- a few swift puffs, and then you lay your tie down on your scribbled notes, you lower your head onto your tie, and it's off to dreamland.

Sound sane?

Of course, on a conference call it's much better. No one sees you sleeping. You're just not there when a question is bounced your way. "Hey, is someone on this call snoring?"


Everything, but EVERYTHING, in Israel is political. Here's proof from a medical journal:

Now....I am sure I am writing just for myself.....but if you read this and you know what the error is, drop me a line so I can be surprised: nloberant@yahoo.com


From my Pittsburgh visit- how many marketing genii worked on this absurd bottle of water- "Diet water sounds so cool...no calorie water, that's revolutionary." "How about Life, everybody loves Life?" "Wait, I have it- I love the phrase Lean Machine- a perfect description for water!" Hold on, I've always wanted something with Dragon- the word, a picture of a dragon." "I don't know, what's the connection between a dragon and water?" "How about a flavor....maybe cherry, ooh, ooh I know.... strawberry." Yes, that's great, now let's put all your ideas together- no calorie life lean machine dragon water!"


More respect for English in Israeli newspapers:


Ah, I can count on more SkyMall, I just love their catalog, maybe someday I'll buy something from them.

Woah! This is a REALLY great item. Especially if your name is Bob.


I am used to typos in Israeli pieces, but here's a dedication from a major medical textbook :

Found it?

(Hint: It's in the geographic center of the paragraph)


I was getting bored- - - SkyMall to the rescue- pick up the phone quick!!

$40 well-spent

I especially like the felicitous phrase:

"..keeps...your home cleverly decorated.."

Sheesh!


Another unending source of smiles- more disrespect of English in Israel- you're spending good money on a professional sign for your tour vehicle, which, presumably, also hauls English speakers- does NO ONE speak English? Does spellcheck not exist? Does anyone care??


Sometimes the foreign words are just SO inappropriate and hilarious

I suppose that's where little peppers come from.


And, incredibly, this picture is from a center for Israel Army Intelligence:


Here's SkyMall trying for a more cultured approach:

This accessory would be lovely on your Louis IVth armoire.

Clearly NO DISCOUNTS APPLY. Who would dare request a discount on such a high-end item.


Coca Cola has taken to heart the adage that the public's intelligence cannot possibly be underestimated:

At least in the UK.


Hee hee.



My invention- the Cartman Kippa Keeper


 

 

Funny 2

 

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