Our old website on Geocities (R.I.P.) had a
nice collection of funny stuff.
I'll give it that old college try to put up some (mostly) visual things
here (hopefully most need no captions or explanations):
Like this semi-honest bottle of
Or this cutely suggestive travel ad
from an airport lounge.
This is one I posted to Facebook a
while back- I think it's great captionless, but I received at least one
feedback comment wondering what the point was. Dunkin Donuts is clearly
convinced that their public is lacking somewhat in IQ, or at least has
no idea how to multiply by 6.
Follow-up November 2011
I'm not nutsy enough to think my
facebook post reached the muckety-mucks of Dunkin' Donuts, but someone
realized they were overcharging for a half dozen donuts.
Their capitalist response was
obviously to raise the price of a single donut. No donut holes, they.
Here's an ad for a local computer
outfit- note the only English in the ad for a Flash Drive, known here as
a disk-on-key, but written in the ad as a DICK-ON-KEY. Computer erotica?
Hardly. Typo? Not necessarily. How about this theory: "s" in English is
written "c" in Russian. I remember my parents writing to our family in
Russia, writing CCCP for USSR. So "disk" is easily transformed into
"dick" and represents a language challenge, and not an amazing
And here's my absolute favorite
television announcement, sitting on the printer in my office for years!
and always bringing a smile. Keywords: Family Channel, of course.
Unaccountably, as Marty got
older he found himself speaking Arabic
We're back from vienna, had a
great time, but that's not for this section. there are lots of throwaway
free newspapers, and the ad in this one reassures me that tradition is
tradition, and that it will passed on from generation to austrian
generation. note the lovely lederhosen pocket for your knife
How about this item from the Sky
Mall catalog- at first glance...how brilliant, a car office.
Now where, exactly, do you use
the damn thing? While you're traveling on the highway? No. When you're
parked outside your home? No, you should be inside. When you're parked
outside your office? Huh? When you get a call en route and you have to
pull off the highway and start reading and faxing and e-mailing? What
exactly is the purpose of this complex item? I can only think of one
thing: if you actually don't have an office in the first place! It's one
short step from sleeping in your car.
I am sure that Dr Bernstein is
the absolute best in his field.
And an excellent advertisement of
the value he places on a lush head of hair.
OK, I thought that Sky Mall reached a nadir with the
stupid car office above, but here's a new one gathered from Delta in
July 2011. Voila, the Tie Pillow, otherwise known as the Pillow Tie.
Yes, you're in a boring meeting, we all suffer through
them, your mind wanders, maybe you're daydreaming about inappropriate
stuff, you're a little worried that someone will catch you in your
mindless state......and then you remember: you have your Tie Pillow (or
Pillow Tie), you pull up the nozzle- a few swift puffs, and then you lay
your tie down on your scribbled notes, you lower your head onto your
tie, and it's off to dreamland.
Of course, on a conference call it's much better. No
one sees you sleeping. You're just not there when a question is bounced
your way. "Hey, is someone on this call snoring?"
Everything, but EVERYTHING, in
Israel is political. Here's proof from a medical journal:
Now....I am sure I am writing just for myself.....but
if you read this and you know what the error is, drop me a line so I can
be surprised: firstname.lastname@example.org
From my Pittsburgh visit- how many marketing genii worked on this absurd
bottle of water- "Diet water sounds so cool...no calorie water, that's
revolutionary." "How about Life, everybody loves Life?" "Wait, I have
it- I love the phrase Lean Machine- a perfect description for water!"
Hold on, I've always wanted something with Dragon- the word, a picture
of a dragon." "I don't know, what's the connection between a dragon and
water?" "How about a flavor....maybe cherry, ooh, ooh I know....
strawberry." Yes, that's great, now let's put all your ideas together-
no calorie life lean machine dragon water!"
More respect for English in Israeli newspapers:
Ah, I can count on more SkyMall, I just love their
catalog, maybe someday I'll buy something from them.
Woah! This is a REALLY great item. Especially if your
name is Bob.
I am used to
typos in Israeli pieces, but here's a dedication from a major medical
(Hint: It's in the geographic
center of the paragraph)
I was getting
bored- - - SkyMall to the rescue- pick up the phone quick!!
I especially like
the felicitous phrase:
home cleverly decorated.."
Another unending source
of smiles- more disrespect of English in Israel- you're spending good
money on a professional sign for your tour vehicle, which, presumably,
also hauls English speakers- does NO ONE speak English? Does spellcheck
not exist? Does anyone care??
Sometimes the foreign words are
just SO inappropriate and hilarious
I suppose that's where little peppers
And, incredibly, this picture is from a center for Israel Army
Here's SkyMall trying for a more cultured approach:
This accessory would be lovely on your Louis IVth
Clearly NO DISCOUNTS APPLY. Who would dare request a
discount on such a high-end item.
Coca Cola has taken to heart the adage that the
public's intelligence cannot possibly be underestimated:
At least in the UK.
My invention- the Cartman Kippa
Funny Stuff from China